Alone in a crowd - The workplace loneliness and its impacts

I remember the first time I met her. She started off as an intern and within 3 months she was hired to join our team full time. That's how good she was! Over a period of 4 years we became best friends. She was my ride to office, my coffee break buddy, lunch partner, after office snack pal...the list goes on. She was my pillar of support and we would talk to each other about our personal life,work frustrations, incidents with colleagues/managers, suggestions/advice for work issues...there isn't anything that we haven't talked about I guess. Year 2016 changed everything, I was pregnant with my daughter and she had to move to Dubai to join her husband. It was time to say goodbye with hope that our paths would cross again. We were happy for each other as both of us were entering new phases of life. But the days after she left is when I truly felt the workplace loneliness. I felt so alone, suddenly I don't have a coffee break buddy and I started drinking coffee at my desk. Work became dull all of a sudden, people became uninteresting, jokes were not funny without having someone else to laugh with you. Fortunately, I started my maternity leave within a month. But those 30 days were really difficult. 

A recent study has shown that 40% of adults in America report feeling lonely. The term called 'Workplace loneliness' has become a topic of discussion in the corporate world. In fact there is a session on 'Workplace Loneliness is Killing Us' by Stuart Chittenden - Founder and Principal of Squish Talks at upcoming SHRM Annual Conference and Exposition 2019.

Workplace loneliness is not something that has occurred in a fortnight. This epidemic has been slowly rising and following factors have contributed to its growth :-

• Technology : With advancement of technology, it is easy to connect with anyone, anytime, anywhere. The advent of Social Media has changed the game of social interactions, networking and even dating. Atop of all this, people tend to forget that in real life they are not meeting any of their friends. Its all messages, emails, chats and hours of browsing. The actual human touch is missing and loneliness slowly creeps in.
• Change in jobs : Years ago, there lived a generation who used to work for the same employer till their retirement. Coworkers were closer than family relatives and deep friendships flourished at the office. People were teary eyed at retirement /farewell parties. And today, the average time an employee would stay at same company is less than two years. It becomes extremely difficult to have a meaningful relation in such a fast paced life. 
• Flexible work options : With changes in technology and digital transformation, employees are given flexibility to choose work hours. Work from home option is a life saver when commutation takes hours. For added flexibility, there is always option to work as a freelancer and choose projects based on preference. Even at office or during commutation, people normally wear headphones which gives a feeling that the person doesn't want to be disturbed and hence not approachable.

How to overcome workplace loneliness?

There is a reason why Employee Engagement is considered a crucial indicator in workplace surveys. It gives tons of insights into Emotional Intelligence and emotional well-being of the employees. More and more companies are coming with focused efforts like mentioned below to engage employees and to mitigate workplace loneliness.

• Interest clubs : One of the most effective way to battle loneliness is to be part of an interest club. It gives a sense of belonging and it also helps to nurture the passion/hobbies of employees. Various clubs for Sports, dance, music, fitness, photography, literature, travel etc can be formed within the company to bring together like-minded people.

• Manager's role : Manager has a huge influence and plays an important role in the emotional well-being of an employee. Occasional team lunch/outing, an outdoor activity or even travelling together for business trips can make lots of difference. Also, extra effort must be taken to connect with employees working remotely. Make sure to have non work related conversation with team members. 

• Working in silos : Collaborative work is a key to business success. Even though open office lay out and open door policy exists, employees still work in invisible silos with less interactions with others. By promoting collaboration, better business outcome can be achieved and workplace loneliness can be reduced. it is a win-win for all.

We are underestimating the power of human emotions when the social contact part is neglected. An article in CNN Business summarizes that lonely employees have

• lower job performances,

• be less committed to the company,

• seem less approachable by coworkers 

We need human connections more than we think and it holds true irrespective of gender, religion, culture, ethnicity and designation (yes, CEOs feel lonely too). Building meaningful human relations helps to nurture Emotional Intelligence (EQ) which in turn influences your relationship with others.

Writing this blog made me think about the episode from the famous TV show Friends where Phoebe talks to Earl the supply manager who wants to kill himself because of workplace loneliness (S07 EP13). We all laughed about Phoebe's predicament but on a serious note Earl in that episode is the epitome of what workplace loneliness can do to a person.

P.S : Nivi Mariam Oommen (my friend I mentioned in the beginning of this blog) is presently working with Danzas at Dubai. We still have contacts with each other and I have a feeling that this is one of the friendships which is gonna last a life time.