Where did 3 years go by?

This is not a post to brag about myself. Some of you might think that way and many of you would think what I have written here are not achievements, its just lame. The reason I wrote this is a reminder, to ME if not to others. This is a blog to all those people who occasionally need a nudge to remind how awesome they truly are. This is my story.....

In 2016, when I started my maternity leave, I was working full time as HR in Talent Engagement Team with one of the leading IT giant in India . I had already decided to take one year break to take care of my daughter. That is when my husband got the opportunity to work in the USA and we relocated to San Francisco in 2017. The initial plan was to go back to India once my extended maternity leave was over. As days passed by I realized it would be a crime to take my daughter away from her dad. She is a daddy's girl and she needs her father to be around. I also didn't want my husband to miss out on each milestones of our baby. We decided that no matter how difficult it is gonna be we will stay together, no way our family can be separated unless for a very pressing reason. I decided to quit my job for the sake of my growing family. It was not an easy decision. I remember staring at my resignation mail a thousand times before sending it. I used to get these panic attacks at nights suddenly realizing I no longer have a job. You see, I have never been financially dependent since I turned 18. I used to work part time during college and paid my own tuition. Summer jobs, internships, part time gigs and come to think of I haven't sat idle ever since I can remember. I was hired through campus placement before I graduated. I was already working full time before I got the result of my finals. And now I am a stay at home mom to two kids. 

It was kind of ok initially. I was still very busy because I had a baby to take care of. I was fortunate to have amazing set of friends. I made it a point to get out of house everyday. Play dates, visiting libraries, grocery shopping and running errands etc kept me busy. BUT, some days it would be bother me that I am not doing anything more, that I am wasting my years, that my hard earned college degree is worthless. I could feel my brain rotting away. I do not have work permit so I cant start working. I was stuck. 

Today Facebook showed me a random post I had made years ago about something that happened at office. It made me think how time has passed by. It has been three years since I quit my job....that is more than 1095 days. And what have I done in those 1000+ days? It just struck me out of nowhere. I felt uneasy and nauseous thinking about the number of days I sat idle. I immediately took out my phone and started jotting down my achievements in last three years. At first my mind went blank, I went through my photos and this is what I found. Three years of my life :-

  

Gave birth to my son

I am beyond happy to say that I am mother to two beautiful kids. I gave birth to my son five months ago. It was an uneventful pregnancy with a dramatic delivery (more on that later). Carrying a baby inside and running after a preschooler was an adventure. In those 9 months, I had morning sickness, heart burn and all the fun part of pregnancy. My daughter started attending preschool when I was 6 months pregnant. It was a huge transition for me. She did not have separation anxiety but I did. Getting her to be on a schedule was a humongous task especially because I was exhausted most of the time.

SHRM Blogger

After my son's birth, this is probably my main achievement in the last three years. I didn't want to be completely out of touch with HR world. So I started participating in Twitter Chats hosted by SHRM and soon I got the invite to be part of the official bloggers team. I attended the SHRM 2019 Annual Conference & Exposition and it was a mind blowing experience. In my opinion every HR professional should attend it at least once. I will never forget the first day of conference. When I reached the conferencevenue I couldn't stop crying because it was so overwhelming. I was 16 weeks pregnant then. It was the first time I had stayed away from my daughter, it was also first time I had travelled and stayed by myself in 3 years. It was also the first time I reconnected with my HR fraternity since I quit my job. So all these emotions and the pregnancy hormones turned me into a weeping mess. I couldn't believe I was there. I was attending the biggest HR conference on earth, people had travelled all the way from Australia, India, UK, South Africa, UAE and countless other places to attend this mega learning event. It was like an ocean of HR professionals. And I was part of the official bloggers team. I felt proud to sit at the reserved bloggers area for the key note session and to chill at the exclusive bloggers lounge with my fellow HR pals. Staying away from my daughter was not easy, but thanks to my husband who gave me full support and pushed to go to Vegas for this event. 

Swimming

I am immensely proud to say that I can swim. I taught myself. Swimming is not very common in my home town even though we are surrounded by water bodies. Opportunity to practice swimming used to be non existent for girls. It is changing now but when I was a kid there weren't many swimming pools. I have never even had a bathing suit. Our current apartment have a pool and I decided to take advantage of it and I am glad I did. I can now swim, not in a professional way just the basic freestyle swimming, lets just say I wont drown at least for few minutes. 

Cooking

Three years ago I could only cook handful of meals. And now I can easily cook Indian, American, Italian, Chinese and little bit of Mexican food. My husband is a foodie and he is my main inspiration. I have hosted dinner parties and have prepared massive meals for 30+ people. 

I started baking and this again was because my husband loves cakes and desserts. What started as simple cupcakes turned into an obsession. I have baked cakes, macarons, breads and buns, pizza, tiered and decorated cakes, cookies, swiss rolls, scones and what not. 

Travelling 

I have always loved to travel. It is in my blood I think because my entire family is fond of travelling. It is one childhood experience I truly cherish. You see, I grew up in a small town in India where people don't travel much. Vacation trips means a visit to grandparents house and that's it. But my dad loved travelling and we used to travel to other cities in India. It was a big deal for us. So with that as my background, even a visit to nearby national park in California gave me such a high. In three years we have managed to visit several cities, 8 National parks, several State parks and also did a trip to India which was an adventure itself because travelling with a toddler is not easy. 

Adventures

I love the great outdoors and being in California has provided ample opportunities to explore the nature. My husband and I are adrenaline junkies and we love all sorts of adventure. We did Sky diving, white water rafting, camping and hiking. We have a bucket list of other adventures which we hope to accomplish soon...

Like I said in the introduction, this post is a reminder. We are all doing plenty of things, even though it might not look that way to others. For every one of you who feel stuck, helpless and feel like you are wasting time, I would request you to take a pause and list down everything you have done in the last couple of years. I am sure you will have plenty of things to recollect and realize how awesome you really are. And the best part is you will also derive inspiration from your own past. Writing this blog has given me the nudge and a sense of direction I needed. I am not going to give up on me!

Staying Strong during the Pandemic Pandemonium Part 2

This is the continuation of my previous blog. A big thank you to HR experts and leaders Kyra Matkovich, Anish Aravind, Jeff Palkowski & Kevin Hubbard for sharing their experience with me.

Role of HR in calming the storm

Staying in a lockdown for a longer period of time is stressful. There are parenting struggles, relationship issues, conflicts with roommates, loneliness and what not. Add other factors like fear of losing job, frustration, anger, reduced income and it is a mess.  We are at a very critical juncture right now, everyone around us needs support and there are a lot of things HR can do to help :-

• To start off, send regular communications to employees. Keeping them informed and well aware of what is going on is helpful to reduce stress. Information like business updates, crisis management, FAQ on the company policies, protocol to be followed in case somebody has tested positive for corona virus are top priority right now. 
• It is also good to share tips on how leaders can manage a remote team, tools, technologies and platforms available to help employees, general information mails on symptoms of corona virus, how to stay safe and healthy etc. is more useful than you think. 
• Share tips on Exercise and fitness. If your company already have a fitness partner check if its possible to conduct online fitness sessions.
• Mental health and stress management is very important when you are confined to a closed space. Advice on stress relief techniques, breathing exercises, online contests/games/puzzles etc. are all appreciated.
• Parenting advice on engaging kids or even a simple mail which says that it is ok to have noisy kids in the background is quite reassuring for many people.

Kyra says “I also reach out to employees individually to just simply ask them how they are doing, and how this situation is impacting them, giving them room to express themselves. It's one thing to ask how work is going. It's another to ask them how they are doing and feeling, what challenges they are experiencing, and how I might be able to support them.”

You need the human to human connection to maintain your sanity during these difficult times. Everyone is going through a wide range of emotions these days. Check out this blog by Steve Browne on why it is important to have a good cry

It is easy to feel burned out when you are working long hours without a break and working from home makes it difficult to socialize with colleagues. It is a good practice to have virtual coffee breaks where employees can talk about non work related things.It also gives opportunity for people to express themselves outside of work.

Just a few weeks ago SHRM delivered pizza to all its employees and their families as a part of their quarterly meeting. It is such a nice gesture and helps to improve the employee morale during these difficult times. 

Tips on how to make video calls more effective

Long term work from home could have been a lot worse without the technology we have today. The phone calls, social media updates, chat messages and most importantly video calls have created an 'office away from office' feeling when you are working from home. Even if you are working in your pajamas, there are certain etiquette to be followed while on an official video call. Here are some tips to make video calls more effective :-

• Make sure to use the right method of communication based on the agenda and the number of employees included. Some issues can be discussed over a phone call or an email. Make sure each video call warrants a video call. Kevin says “Each organization and department will need to decide what information is important enough to share on a call, and what information should be shared in an email. Once that has been decided, organize this information into an outline or agenda and distribute to those who will be on the call. Not only will this set the correct expectations about what is to be discussed on the call, but it will help to keep the conversation on track.”
• It is always best to start meeting on time as it helps to establish a sense of stability. Also the facilitator needs to make sure that all participants are given a chance to speak/share opinions. 
• Being in a virtual meeting is definitely helpful to keep people engaged and be less distracted. Remember that everyone can see you so make sure to wear appropriate clothing. You must have already seen various funny videos and memes on social media about the blunders that happened over official video calls. Take necessary precautions to avoid being the leading character in such videos.

I remember a meme that said once this pandemic is over people would want to take leave for one week and just stay in office. Granted that working from home for a long time under a lockdown/shelter in place is harder than one could have imagined. I was watching a 90s movie with my preschooler and when she saw the main character working in an office her immediate question was why they aren't working from home and why people don't have laptops. It kind of makes you wonder about the future of the workplace (if there is a workplace i.e).

 

"We have come too far, we have sacrificed too much, to disdain future now.” - John F Kennedy

A big thank you to the contributors to this blog post :

Anish Aravind : Co-Founder and Principal Consultant, SS Consulting; Co-Founder and Director at M/A/R/S Kerala.

Kyra Matkovich : Senior Human Resources Business Partner Specializing In Employee Relations, Leadership & Development.

Jeff Palkowski : Senior Human Resources Specialist, Workforce Relations at University of Wisconsin-Madison, SHRM Volunteer Leader.

Kevin Hubbard: Jack Welch student who is a results driven, self-motivated, detail oriented administrative professional determined to solve problems.

Staying Strong during the Pandemic Pandemonium Part 1

World used to be a simple place. Kids go to school, adults go to work. Evenings and weekends families/friends gather and have fun at parties, picnics, parks, dates or play dates. People were encouraged to explore the great outdoors. Summer was around the corner and stores were getting filled with swimsuits, beach towels, sunscreen and barbeque grills. Gym membership was on all time high thanks to new year resolutions and the pressure to obtain the beach body. And then BAM……..Corona hit us like a Tsunami. All of a sudden, the swimsuits were replaced with hazmat suits, sunscreen with hand sanitizers and beach towels with disinfectant wipes. Forget about barbeque grills, toilet paper ruled the world. Spring clothing line had to be altered to add face masks and bandana. Schools closed, and employees are asked to work from home. Great outdoors are not so great anymore and staying indoors became the new adventure. 

All these sudden changes have come with a brand new set of challenges that no one could have prepared you for. As fellow HR professionals we are required to be more adept than ever. I wanted to understand more about how these changes have affected the HR industry and the best way to learn is from the experts. A big thank you to HR experts Kyra Matkovich, Anish Aravind & Jeff Palkowski for sharing their experience with me.

Here are some of the challenges faced by HR  during this tumultuous time :-

1. Engaging employees

“The worst thing you can do is nothing” - Theodore Roosevelt

Employees look up to HR for guidance and if there are any confusions, the 1st question would be “What does HR say?” This is not the time to be the deer in the headlight. HR has to pull all strings and collaborate to ensure business is running as usual. 

Jeff says “it has become increasingly difficult to meet the expectations of employees and managers because they expect the same high level high touch service which they are accustomed to”.

2. Compliance to Labor Laws

It is also imperative to keep the employees informed about the discussions, decisions and updates about their workplace and their jobs. Your associates will have a lot of questions about the compensation, leave policy, work from home policy, managing absenteeism, sick leaves, entitlements and other benefits. There are also lots of changes made to the rules and regulations. Hence it is important to keep yourself updated with the laws and practices. Here is a quick FAQ on Fair Labor Standards Act Compliance during the Corona pandemic written by Stephen Miller.

3. Communication

Clear communication is the key for surviving this chaotic situation. The most effective way to communicate and engage the employees is through their managers. With the absence of face to face meetings and daily catch ups, it becomes a challenge to make sure that leaders are well connected with their direct reportees. When there is chaos there is also confusion. Information reached through grapevine can be altered, speculated or it can be completely fake. The need for transparent communication is of paramount importance at this juncture.

4. Provide adequate resources

Another challenge faced by HR is in providing adequate resources and tools to employees. Many of the employees are not used to working from home on a continuous basis. Some may not have a home office or an ergonomic chair. Even the lack of high speed internet connection affects the quality of work. It is an additional challenge to manage kids especially when both parents have to work from home. Employees need help on various aspects like emotional support, counselling, insurance benefits, access to various office platforms, tips on working from home, exercise and staying fit etc.

Kyra says “I send regular communications via email to provide encouragement, support, and humor. I make sure that they know what resources are available”

5. We are also Human

“Caring for myself is not self-indulgence, it is self-preservation”- Audre Lorde

Unwinding after a day’s work is very important to maintain a healthy lifestyle. It becomes a challenge to unplug when your home becomes your office. We all have our own way of relaxing after work like going to happy hour with colleagues, gym workouts, yoga class, sports or even just the commute back home helps to clear your mind. But how will you manage to unplug when you literally never leave office in this long term work from home situation?

Another important aspect of self care is exercise and fitness. With the restriction to go outside, you need to be creative to stay fit. It poses a whole new level of challenge when you have kids because you need to make sure that kids are also exercising their mind and body. 

Anish says “Keeping my boys fit and ready for their game as well as classes when they begin is a challenge. I have to figure out ways to get them to exercise at least 2 hours a day.”

The factors written here are just a glimpse of the ocean deep level of challenges HR folks are facing today. Keeping the ship afloat is the priority now and there is so much HR can do to support the business and the associates. More details of how HR can be supportive will be included in part two of this series.

I want to end this blog with one of my favorite quote from the TV show Grey’s Anatomy:-

“There's an end to every storm. Once all the trees have been uprooted. Once all the houses have been ripped apart. The wind will hush, the clouds will part, the rain will stop, the sky will clear in an instant. But only then, in those quiet moments after the storm, do we learn who was strong enough to survive it” 

A big thank you to the contributors to this blog post :

Anish Aravind : Co-Founder and Principal Consultant, SS Consulting; Co-Founder and Director at M/A/R/S Kerala. Follow on Anish on Twitter

Kyra Matkovich : Senior Human Resources Business Partner Specializing In Employee Relations, Leadership & Development. Follow Kyra on Twitter

Jeff Palkowski : Senior Human Resources Specialist, Workforce Relations at University of Wisconsin-Madison, SHRM Volunteer Leader. Follow Jeff on Twitter